My Corner of the Institution

It's ok to cry when your happy

2004-05-30T13:36:38Z

Last night, good night.
I realized that I do have people that care about me. And that life does get better. And I got back a friend that I thought I lost because of Meghan, and I cried. Because Jessi, was alwayz there for me, through everything. And she thinks Meghan is blowing this way out of proportion...gee really? No but after I talked to Jessi I started to cry, and then Mikey talked to me, he was like you've become like my best friend and I love you to death I would do anything for you. I dont know I just realize that there are people that care about me, and that are my friends, and life doesnt suck so much.
I got to kiss Eric last night. Good Kisser. Ha. But thats another thing. Mikey is happy for me and he thinks that Eric will be good for me. Im glad I heard that from Mikey. Now I just have to hear it from Craig.
I had a heart to heart with a lot of people last night. I told Craig that I care about him a lot and that he means something special to me. Then he asked me out? I dont know if he was serious or not. But I need to talk to him about Eric, I dont know but we hugged and I realized that he's true to his word, when he says that he will alwayz be here for me. And I talked to Corey, But then Corey got drunk and got on the phone with me, talking about all kinds of crazy shit, but im going to leave that out because I think that It was the Coors Light talking, but, yeah last night very good night, I talked to Eric until 3:30 am and then went to bed and woke up at like 6?!? I dont know, I was pretty messed up last night. Sorry for anyone that didnt want to hear that. I was just drinking. But, I dont know...

About the kiss. Like I said I was kinda tipsey last night, and I had to go home before Eric got off work, so before Mikey took me home I was like can you bring me up to Movie Maddness so I can talk to Eric, Tara was like Talk? YEAH RIGHT. So I went into Movie Maddness, well stumbled into Movie Maddness and was like Eric I need to talk to you, can we go out back? So we went out back and he was like "wassup" I just kissed him. And it happened like that. Then I told him that I really like him.
I do like him, but I dont think that im ready to be in a relationship right now. I mean we've only been talking for...3 days, and I dont know he's already like thinking about asking me out?!? Nah, not yet. Oh And dont take the 3 day thing the wrong way, Ive known Eric for a while, I just figured out that I liked him 3 dayz ago.
But all in all, last night, was good. Im glad I finally got to talk to Jesse. And im glad I went up to movie maddness.
But im about to hop in the shower, call Eric, find Tara, and learn how to drive a stick, and hopefully get a little more then tipsey tonight.
Love To All That Love Me Back
Jess

Dissapointment...

2004-05-29T15:55:08Z

So, here I am, 11:43 in the morning, babysitting, until 7:00 tonight.
I hate this.
I hated last night.
Meghan is going to die.

Eric? Hmm, yeah I think that I like him, I mean I dont know. Im afraid that its going to be another one that I think that I like and then realize that I really dont. But we talked about it and we both decided that we were going to try, and if things didnt work out then...I dont know.
Im going to end up losing all of them.
Craig.
Mikey.
Eric.
Corey.
All because of my selfessness.
I think that theres a little something going on between Craig and Tara.
HmMm...
I dont know how this makes me feel. Because I dont want to be with Craig. But I dont know how well im going to take my girl messing with him.

Angie. I saw her last night. I think that was the highlight of the entire night. And then shit just went down hill from there.

I tried to spend the night at Tara's house tonight, but that didnt work. Because of fat ass Meghan, what a bitch.

Tara is going to beat her ass.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

I CANT TAKE THIS FUCKING LIFE ANYMORE. EVERYTHING THAT I DO, IS WRONG NO MATTER WHAT THE FUCK IT IS.
IM ABOUT TO JUST END IT.
ALL OF IT.

FUCK LIFE.

Sigh

2004-05-28T02:15:05Z

I so lost. In my own head. This fucking blows.
I dont even know what to do with myself anymore.
I dont care if you call me depressed, sad, hopeless, pathetic, I DONT GIVE A SHIT.
I just want life to move on. Maybe im in a rut. I dont know. Whatever it is I want out!
I hate this.
Everything.
Ever section of my life is fucked up! School, Friends, Family, Love, LIFE.

Lost

Up the creek without a paddle once again.
Stuck in the middle.
Surounded by rocks.

I cant retrace the past
I can only look ahead, I dont know what exactly for.
Maybe my 18th birthday?
I dont know.
Right now, I dont care. I dont care about anything. Im so fucking pissed and angry at myself and the world.
I dont know

I think that I like someone...SURPISE SURPRISE.
I dont think that he would ever talk to me. Not because he's like stuck up or whatever, just because all of his friends like me. And I think that it would cause to much drama for myself. Oh well, nothing ever works out anyway, but he's ...I dont know, theres just something about him, I think that is the thing that I like most about a guy, when they have something that you cant explain? I dont know. Maybe its just me being lonely again, probably we'll see where this goes. 99% chance: to hell 1% he's going to be that guy ive been waiting for...but failure is more likely.

Im out.

Speechless*

2004-05-28T01:38:50Z

I dont have much to say, well at least not right now. GOOOOODDDDD I really hate my life. With a passion. Ok, 2 days ago, I offered to babysit Thurz (tonight), My mom said,"No, it's ok, your grandmother is going to do it...", then in the middle of my plans I get a call talking about come home dont make your grandmother babysit, I was like WHAT THE FUCK, so now im home, while all my friends are out.
Selfish? NO! Im tired of this shit. GOD, all I do during the summer is babysit these little brats. And personally I can NOT fucking take it anymore. I hate it. I cant wait to get out of this fucking house, GODDDD, a year and a half left, I cant fucking wait.
Jess

Ugh.

2004-05-26T20:08:09Z

Have you ever felt so...emotionally drained that you just dont give a shit about anything anymore? Sad to say, im past that point.
Why does love have to suck? I dont know. I think that I ask to many questions. Oh well, when you dont understand something you ask questions...right? Well I guess that im asking questions that no one has the answers to. I dont care. So many things run through my head everyday. That I just wish that I would hit my head and forget my past. I hate my past. I hate the present. And you know what? I do it to myself. And it's true. I have lost all self-respect for myself and I dont think that this can be fixed. I dont know. I dont know what to do. I feel like I have nothing left. My best friend is gone. The person I loved the most, although I hated him, hates me. And I cant deal with that. I feel like im never going to find anyone to compare to him and the way that I felt about him. It really sucks. I have to start all over. A year and somewhat months just gone. I hate it. He knew everything about me and I was comfortable around him, it was good. not perfect, but what is?
I dont know. All the people that try to "get with me" are missing something. I just dont feel right with anyone. GOD! Im never going find anyone. I need to invest in a dildo and be alone for the rest of my life. Its the truth. I dont think anyone could make me happy anyway. Boyz are soo....ugh! I hate em, all they want is sex, and the way they flirt is annoying. Maybe im just anti-love right now.
Well, no more insane messages, but these people keep calling my phone for Alfred? Weird. My cell phone. Whatever.
What did I do last night? I went and saw Shrek 2 it was pretty good, I think that the first one was better but, that one had its laughs. I think that I laughed more at Mikeys house after the movie anyway. But no really that movie was good.
*Favorite Part*
When Puss in Boots coughed up a hair ball. OOhh I was baggen up!

Damn there isnt anything to talk about...
Mikey was lettin me drive the Explorer today, all over the place. I think that I proved my driving skills. So it's all good now. LOL...I dont know what else to say. I cant wait until I turn 18 ... damn.

I think life needs to improve for me.
Love
Jess

"Dammit" -Blink 182

It's alright to tell me what you think about me
I won't try to argue or hold it against you
I know that you're leaving, you must have your reasons
The season is calling your pictures are falling down

The steps that I retraced the sad look on your face
The timing and structure, did you hear, he fucked her
A day late a buck short I'm writing the report
On losing and failing when I move I'm flailing now

And it's happened once again, I'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands, sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone and I've been here for too long
To face this on my own, well I guess this is growing up

And maybe I'll see you at a movie, sneak preview
You show up and walk by on the arm of that guy
And I'll smile and you'll wave
We'll pretend it's okay
The charade, it won't last
When he's gone, I won't come back

And it'll happen once again, you'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands, sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone, and you've been there for too long,
To face this on your own, well I guess this is growing up

Well, I guess this is growing up

"Shut Up"- Blink 182

Shut the fuck up she said
I'm going fucking deaf
You're always too loud
Everything's too loud

Now that all my friends left
This place is fucking dead
I wanna move out
When can we move out
This shit has got to stop
I'll run away

Get the fuck up she said
Your life is meaningless
It's going nowhere
You're going nowhere

You're just a fuck-up she said
I'll live alone instead
She said you don't care
I know I don't care

I'll never ask permission from you
Fuck off I'm not listening to you
I'm not coming home
I'm never going to come back home

I got too fucked up again
And passed out on the plane
Tried to forget you
I can't forget you

No sleep on this flight
I'll think about the nights
We had to get through
How did we get through?

I'll never ask permission from you
Fuck off I'm not listening to you
I'm not coming home
I'm never going to come back home
I'll run away

Does Any One Know?!

2004-05-25T02:24:05Z

Does anyone out there understand this life shit? Not me! I mean, your born, then you live off your parents for 18 years, going through the drama and horror or being under the control of people that grew up in a totally different society as you, and then you move out, try to support yourself on the salary that you earn(which for most of us will be 6.50 at the McDonalds a walk away from home...Lets see, you think you fall in love and get married, have a couple of kids...raise them to take over the world that is falling apart and then you die...really it's like a bad scary movie, ya know, where they ALL end up dieing in the end...no cliffhanger for a sequal, just gone.
What would happen if the world and all of its people just got sucked into a huge black hole? No more sun, no more water, eveyone would die. And then what? Would God start over? I mean we sin everyday, and we screwed up the world so would he want to start over? I dont know...I mean, hey theres nothing like living, but what are we living for? I had this discusion with my friend on the way home tonight, and he said,"Yeah, your right, but you could try to die happy and make that your goal in life." Well one thing, who the hell is happy? I think that we've been through this before, we have established that no one I know including myself is TRUELY happy. What the hell, I mean I dont know...I think happy is a word that is so over used...your not happy when shoes are half off. what the hell kind of happy is that? And it only last for about 20 minutes anyway because nothing good last's forever. And it's true. The world is going down...down...down...
*ANYWAYZ*
School. HA. I hate it. Everything about it. And it's sad to say that I know teachers that feel the same way. Christiana is so...BAD. No one that graduates from that school has a real education. We are like the worst school in DE. I mean goddamn our football team hasnt won a state championship in like 50 years. Was football even around 50 years ago. This school sucks.
Awwww man, I feel like crap. Have you ever had like one of those all day cramps in like your side and no matter what you do you CANNOT get rid of it?! And I dont know. It really blows. Whatever.
I think that im going to go lay in my bed now, and reflect on how pointless my life really is.
Love
Jess

*Sorry I dont mean to sound like a depressed weirdo because im not depressed this is just the kind of shit that runs through my head...weird huh?*

Back in boring Newark!

2004-05-23T17:18:45Z

Im back, boo, well yesterday was very...interseting. LoL, no it was fun, but yet interseting. We actually got on the beach at about 12 and we layed there until like 4:30, well between that time period I fell asleep...In the 96 degree sun...on my stomach, therefor my ass is entirely RED, burnt red! Along with my legs and my back! GREAT! no really it will only last for like a day, but damn does it suck now! And although the heat was intense the water was FREEZING...and guess who got pushed in ... YOURS TRUELY...yeah I went into to like hypothermic shock. It was all Craig...bastard.
After we left the beach, Mikey couldnt stand having sand and what not on him, so we drove to where they had shower houses, paid 2.50 and all took COLD showers (not by choice) and the water would only stay on for about...hmm....15 secs. So inbetween having to make sure your little curtain was closed and freezing your ass off...you had to keep pushing the little button in...JESUS!
So after we were all refreshed, we drove to Ocean City, MD now, down there this weekend was Crusin weekend or something, and there was so many Cars, Beer, and Girls...the boys were in HEAVEN when we got there! So we found a parking spot and started walking about 20 mintutes later, no one (besides me and Craig) could walk any more because they were SO sunburnt! It was sad. But when we were walking I saw all these guys with beads (Mardi Gras beads He*He) And I was all confussed beacause I thought they only did the bead thing on ya know...Mardi Gras...but I guess not?!! So were sitting there and this like I guess 14 year old kid is riding his bike down the side walk and he has a bunch of beads...and being the smart ass I am I said " Hey, I want some beads" I have never seen a little kid turn around so fast! So I look around at the people im with and they are laughing there asses off...Craig is pushing me he's like " Go ahead, you wanted some beads" So I was laughing my ass off... and I asked the little kid, Im like are you really gonna make me work for em or are you just gonna give em to me? And he didnt say anything...but ofcours everyone was like "you better make her work for em" I was like whatever! Did what was necessary to get the beads..and then the next thing I know, All the boys across the street start hooten and hollerin, my friends are dying! And im laughing my ass off becasue I felt like, I dont know. I raped a minor or something, lol. I dont know, it was pretty great last night!!
I think that were going to do something today. I dont know, I might try to convince them to go to lums pond or something. I dont know Im just not trying to sit in my house all day, in pain, id rather sit with my friends that are in pain to! LOL!!
I am suppose to go and chyll with Joey in a little bit and I think that I actually will, I mean I want to see him, but, I like to chyll with my friends too. I dont know it doesnt really matter..but I know if my mom never gets back from the damn grocery store that I am never going to be able to go anywhere!
I guess that im going to go, oh no, wait!!
Phsyco Bitch report: She called my house last night and left my parents a message,"I just wanted to let you know that your daughter is at the beach with a bunch of 21 year old guys, and she is probably fucking them all." yeah my mom, wants to beat her ass. It's funny, but not really because this beach needs to get her ass beat, and it's really comming down to it. I dont care anymore. I dont have anything to care about so why not start a fight and get arreseted? shit, she would get sent to jail not me! Oh well, she is so fucking dumb, thank god my parents arent beleiving anything this crazy bitch is saying!! I dont know what to do, If anyone has any suggestions...then please!! POST!!

<3 Jess

Off 2 the Beach

2004-05-22T12:25:07Z

hey people, im off to ocean city all day, waa hoo, c yz later!
<3Jess

High School

2004-05-21T15:17:18Z

High School blows, big time! I have totally screwed up my high school life! I havent been to any class in like 2 weeks im failing everything...and I am a screw-up! I dont care! I dont care about anything. What is there to live for? Nothing. Oh well, the world is filled with fake people who have nothing better to do with their time except for trying to ruin other peoples lives! I dont care, two more years of hell and then I am legally allowed to be a fuck up, without my parents say in anything! I cant wait! Not that I want to be, but I think that I would succeed a lot more in life with out the worry of my parents!Really, like in my own mind I know what I want to do with myself and how im going to do it, I want to follow MY life plan, not my parents! Im a rebel! lol, no really I think that my life is going to start when I am allowed to make my own descions. I cant wait for 3-30-06 I will be LEGAL!!! It sucks that it's two years away, but hell, im on my way!

Life's Plan Acording to Me~
1). Take night school, day school, and correspondence and try to get the hell out of here!!
2). Get a good job and start saving up for the important things in life (exp;car, appartment)
3). The day I turn 17 go to recruting office and join the Army National Gaurd, one weekend a month 2 weeks a year. (They pay 100% college tuition, and its the only thing I can join when im 17 besides that I would not want to join that lame excuse for a branch of the military, hopefully I can still join the Marines after college!)
4). take a year before I go to college and do all the things I would ever want to do.
5). Go to college, get my degree, become an English teacher. I think.
6). Live my life the way the I want!

Thats the life plan of me, hopefully everything turns out right!

Im trying so hard to pressure Mikey and Craig into going into the Marines I think that it would really help them, Mikey needs it, and so does Craig they need to start there lives, there to old to waste it, they are both really smart! I hope that they actually do end up joining...I only have a couple months, there are trying to join Aug. 29, and although they are like my brothers and I want them to make the best descions for them, I dont really want them to go, I know that it would be really good for them! I just wish that I was there age because I would def. go and I would drag them with me. But hey, thats them and there lives but really, I think that it would help them to find there place.

Tommrow I am going to Ocean City again! Wa hoo, I love going on my little weekend trips. I think it's because of the people that im going with. I love them so much.

Craig- He is funny, he is a sweetheart and I love him to death, he is like a little kid, although he's 20, he needs a little growing up to do, but maybe thats what I love about him, me and Craig could sit on his couch and watch cartoons and laugh our asses off until the cows come home! I love that boy, he's also very emotional though...especially when he drinks, but isnt everyone?! I dont know he's never been treated right by a girl, I think that I need to find him someone that will treat him the way he deserves to be treated!

Mikey- Mikey bags me up sometimes! He is so jittery and so jumpy and hyper that he's just funny when he doesnt even try to be! He is also a total sweetheart!! He is very giving and very romantic not in that way with me, just a very nice guy!! I could talk to Mikey forever, we both understand what it is like to be in a shitty relationship, his ex is a total bitch and I dont think she deserved him at all. But all in all, Mikey is a sweetheart willing to do anything for anyone!

Corey- Corey is the comedian, I can sit in the backseat with him and just laugh the whole way home from whereever we are! We have the craziest conversations and we laugh at eachother laughing...its great! He is also a sweetheart and has a lot of good advice to offer sometimes, I love talking to him.

I love all of them, but I love them all for different things. I think that all of them put together would be my perfect boyfriend. Thats funny! I dont know more later im about to tell Mikey to come and pick me up. He*He, Im being brought down by the older generation!!!!

Crazy Bitch

2004-05-20T02:55:51Z

Ok, my parents are bugging out. WHY? because this crazy ass bitch (no names but people that know me, know who!)called my house at 7 30 this morning and are telling my parents that I sleep places I shouldnt sleep and drink and smoke and all kinds of crazy ass shit! This bitch! I tried to be the mature one and let this go, but NOOOOOOO your 20 years old and you cant have a life so you try to ruin mine? Well guess what? Im not letting it go anymore, this bitch is going to die! Especially if she calls and calls, and if she tells my parents about the thing that I went through earlier in the year! yeah, I might sound immature and crazy as hell, but really c'mon we dont know what this shit is about?! And its been a month! And she is still STILL calling me and bugging me...do I have to get my house number changed too?! GOD!

Why cant people just live their own lives? And not worry about other people! I'll tell you what! Watch out for the people that you think that you trust because boy does it hurt when they smack you in the face with their pettiness! People like her are the reason the world is shitty! I think that she needs to go back to rockford where that crazy bitch belongs!

I dont know what else to say, but im not talking about that bitch anymore!

Tonight?!Hmm...Mikey came and got me, talked to my dad a little bit, thats cool people that will actually talk to my dad! And then we went to Shoprite and bought bbq sauce for Craig because he's having a bbq lil get together thing...well it was just the four of us, our little gang...lol...no really though...I realized that, those three boyz are really important to me. We've all been through a lot of shit that we can relate to and we can all just chyll and not have to worry about what's going on, I think thats why we became so close so quickly, I love them with all my heart and i'll do anything for them!

But thats all for now
<3Jess

Life just got so gay

2004-05-19T21:57:37Z

I have to sit here for another hour and a half and babysit my fruitloop brothers AHHHH if I dont get to go out when they get home im going to be PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!! I dont like this new work schedual thing and they just expect me to just be on there beck and call 24/7 screw that. im 16 and I would like to actually have a life!

I hate this

2004-05-19T21:51:41Z

I hate being sad all the time, I hate not knowing where I am in life! I hate waking up everyday and not knowing what drama is going to happen today!
I wish that I could start life over, I would change so many things that I have done.
But people cant do that! Damn, maybe I should make that my goal in life, to find a way to go back in time and change the shitty life that I have obtained!
Whatever im beggining to not care about anything anymore, I mean what is there to care about?
I feel like im never going to be able to be in a relationship ever again, and that isnt good, and if I start a relationship im going to wish its mark anyways, so I guess that im going to continue feeling like this until something changes dramatically again. I hate life, I dont know why it has to be so hard? I mean did we really fuck up that bad where god just wants everyone to be unhappy?! Because out of all the people that I know, none of them are TRULY happy, and I want to know why. What does it take for people to be happy? Is there such thing as happy all the time? I mean, is anyone happy all the time? I sure as hell aint and I dont know anyone who is?! But why cant we be? We want to be, at least I want to be, I dont know? I guess these questions will never be answered but oh well. I think im better off not knowing!

Boyz...damn they piss me the hell off! Why cant there be a perfect guy out there for me? Not perfect like PERFECT but perfect for me, with the little flaws that your suppose to love?I just cant seem to find anyone, I guess that meets my standards. What are my standards? I have no freaking idea, but im not finding anyone that comes close to making me feel the way I did with Mark, and that sucks. I wish that I could take perfect parts out of certain guys to make the perfect guy!!! I dont even know what I would mix and match, I think that life's goal with mating and such should consit of girls dating and finding qualities in a guy and taking them and keeping them all for the perfect guy in the future, it could be a game or something ya know, you gotta get the guyz good features before the other girls? LoL. and why do only girls get to do it you ask? well, ya see, guys will have sex and get with anything with well you know, so it doesnt really matter to you guys does it? No.Im sorry I dont know what the hell im thinking about I guess thoughts are just running out of my head?! That happens a lot I think that I need a plug.

What other life questions can we tackle today?

HmM...not thinking of n e now but I should later
ByeZ

Sleeping Alone

2004-05-19T01:57:11Z

Feeling physical pain of my mishaps, cutting deeper into the skin, holding on to good,then evil thought gave in.
Remembering the yesterdays and the days I have to come, kmowing in my broken heart that you are not the one.
Concentrating on the cut, thinking through my fingers, pressing harder with each thought, your memories still linger.
Wanting to let go of it, the pain you put me through, knowing that I cant forget helps the blade cut through.
A blood-rush, what im feeling, even though i've had one for a year, starting to lose my vision, I can no longer hear.
Finally a resting place, lying in a puddle, cold and red blanket of mine, and your not here to cuddle, falling hast all alone, your picture falls fast with me, soon I will be gone, and you ownt be there to miss me.

Jess

Sleeping Alone

2004-05-19T01:57:11Z

Sitting and Thinking

2004-05-18T20:59:55Z

Sometimes I sit here and think,
What would my life be like if you never stepped in?
What would I be doing now?
Besides getting my life back together?
Would I have to get my life back together?
Would I cry everynight, would I feel this way everyday?
Would I regret my past?
Would I fear the future?
Would I smile like normal people?
Would I still look at every car that is silver and think that its you?
Would I look for you everywhere?
Would I ask about you?
Would I care about you?
Would I know where my life was?
Or would it all be the same?
The same it is now, the same drama, the same heartach and the same pain?
I wonder...If I never met you, would I be the person I am today?
Or would I be Happy cheerleader Jess, with a pony tail and pom poms?
Do I want to be that kind of person?
Did you really alter my personality that much?!
Did you really tear my heart apart, or is it all in my head?
Sometimes I wonder why, why I even picked you, what appealed to me.
Why you were so special to me back then, why you changed?
You went from being yourself to being your friends, is that what happened?
Or is that me blaming all of this on you?
Was it me?
If it was then what did I do?
Am I really as confussed as I appear to be?
I dont know why I sit here and think, because it only makes things worse!

Jess

Irish Lil One

2004-05-18T20:26:20Z

Yeah that would be Ireland, Im a little Irish, but you have to admit that its BEAUTIFUL!!

Are you happy Alex and Ivan?!

I just wanted to make it official that this is my new thing until I come up with something better!!

LoVe To AlL ThAt LoVe Me BaCk!
Jess

Cha Cha Cha Changes...

2004-05-17T17:57:07Z

Yeah, I changed it again. Oh well it will prob. be different tommrow. I think it would be nice to be a designer, i love that kinda stuff! But anywho!

Ms.G- I need to find a cute icon to match my journal, im having a hell of a time!

But anywayz, my weekend was ok, I got to see Angie my best friend in the UNIVERSE, on friday. I had to wait until like 3am and by then I was a little tipsey but hey, I got to see her.

Then Saturday, In the morning Cody called me and asked if I wanted to go with her to Lums Pond and just chyll and I was like sure, running on one hour of sleep! And we went and got on the paddle boats and what not, we had a really good time, and I got a really good tan! Later on,
I chylled with Craig because Mikey and Corey went to PA to get Mikeys dad. We bonded, lol, we went to the farmers market and walked around and then we just went back to his house and watched tv and talked...lol, i had fun watching TV I was laughin my ass off!! And if anyone is thinking "oh what did they do", the answer? Nothing,were just friends now, and we both agree its better this way.

Sunday, I got woken up by my phone, it was Mikey, talking about lets go to Ocean City, I was like ok, So he woke up Corey and Craig and we took the long drive down to OC,MD and then had a really good time! We got in the water and it was soooo fucking cold! But, it was all good!

I really enjoy hangen out with them, there really cool and I feel like i've known them for a really long time, we have a really good time together! Im glad that they are in my life!!

Love to all who love me back,
Jess

Finally

2004-05-14T18:33:44Z

Ok, I think that I have my journal the way I want it except for my font but if anyone wants to know, the picture is sunrise over egypt! but anywayz im outtie!

Sorry

2004-05-13T13:01:56Z

I am in the process of re-doing my journal, bear with me people!
-Jess

Hot In Heere!

2004-05-13T12:12:48Z

Im burnin up! Its so fucking hot! I dont have anything to say, ummm...Oh, Ima smack the shit outta "uh hum" actually fuck it Joeys gonna get it!! But anywayz. More later!

Special update for alex!

2004-05-11T17:43:52Z

If you havent seen it already I suggest that you go and look at your comments...but if you have seen it! HA HA I LOVE YOU, remember the good times!
<3xoxJess

Hmm...

2004-05-11T12:20:35Z

I dont know why there are two entries about pms but hey what can ya do?! I dont know sorry to anyone who had to deal with my shit last night! I was having a bad day!! Everything was bothering me. I think that Joey is mad at me? I dont know why, maybe its because of John? I dont know but hey, Joey said that we were just friends...I dont know. But im about to go, I hope that I can get some MB today!! im hungry!

Love Yall,
Jess

PmS

2004-05-11T02:24:48Z

God I am in the worst PMS mode right now...Its fucking hot in here, I cant breath, I cant think, My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I cant go to sleep, Im sweating my ass off, I want a chocolate milkshake but I dont feel like making it, Fuck being a girl!! Fuck feeling like this, I hate guys they all need to go to hell. I hate everything. Leave me alone!

PmS

2004-05-11T02:24:48Z

Lyrics for life

2004-05-10T15:28:58Z

"Your House"
Jimmy Eat World

When you're on, I swear you're on.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
I think the whole room can hear me clear my throat.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
Then out of nowhere, put me right back there.
Rip my heart out, you rip my heart right out.
And we know what happens when we get to your house.
Rip my heart out, you'll rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
I throw away everything I've written you.
Oh anything just keep my mind off of it, thinking how I had you once.
No, I can't forget that.
Sometimes I wish I could loose you again.
You're winning me over with everything you say.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
When I let you closer, I only want you closer.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
Yeah, if you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
If you love me at all..

My Corner of the Institution

It's ok to cry when your happy

Dissapointment...

*Sigh*

Speechless*

Ugh.

Does Any One Know?!

Back in boring Newark!

Off 2 the Beach

High School

Crazy Bitch

Life just got so gay

I hate this

Sleeping Alone

Sleeping Alone

**Sitting and Thinking**

Irish Lil One

Cha Cha Cha Changes...

Finally

Sorry

Hot In Heere!

Special update for alex!

Hmm...

PmS

PmS

Lyrics for life

Sigh

Sitting and Thinking